


“Light, Is That Your Saber?”

by reaperlight



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kira Wins, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Don't copy to another site, Don't repost, Drama, God Emperor Yagami Light, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Immortals, Immortals in Space, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lawlight Week, Lawlight Week 2020, Major Character Undeath, Multi, Multiship, Necromancy, Pining, Polyamory, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Rebirth, Reunions, Science Fiction, Shinigami Mate Light, Spot the Warhammer reference, Star Wars References, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Amnesia, Tumblr Prompt, Violence, Weird Plot Shit, Zombies, in spaaaaaaaaace!, weird science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlight/pseuds/reaperlight
Summary: You never forget your first love. Not even after 1,000 years.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light, Past Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Ryuk/Yagami Light, past Yagami Light/Orginal Male Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63
Collections: Lawlight Week 2020





	1. Kami

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZombieJesus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/gifts).



> This was written for Lawlight Week 2020 for the prompts: Day 3 "Kami/Ghost," and Day 7 "Death/Rebirth."

_“You’ll stay with me, won’t you? When this is all over? When we’ve caught Kira. No matter the outcome…”_

_“…Until the very end.”_

Light jolted awake. 

**“You okay, Light-o?”** Ryuk asked with genuine concern as he peered curiously over the back of his throne. 

Light straightened his robes and the circlet crown that weighed upon his brow. 

He hadn't dreamed in a very long time.

“Yeah…” He insisted tonelessly even as he gazed, unseeing out at his opulent throne room. 

Ryuk noted it was the same sort of lifeless gaze one was accustomed to seeing in the Shinigami Realm. But then, for them, this sight wasn’t anything new. 

Light stared out into space, literally, once again succumbing to the persistent ennui that had plagued his existence for longer than he could remember. 

Dammit, he shouldn’t be dozing off like that. There were no more stupid nobles to meet or impress. He should get up. Get off this throne. Do something. There was plenty to be done and time seemed to pass so quickly… And yet still he sat. 

The myriad stars twinkled mockingly out the viewport. 

All this was his and yet he still felt as empty as the space surrounding them. 

“Sorry, Ryuk… I’m just not feeling it lately,” Light apologized as his Shinigami gently massaged his tensed shoulders as he lounged back in his great golden throne. 

This was absolutely ridiculous. 

He had no reason to be feeling so tense. 

His Kingdom had known peace for many years. 

His Kingdom—which was now so much bigger and broader than he could have ever imagined as a naïve teenager picking up a notebook all those years ago—what started as dominion over one world had now expanded to include many worlds. As ambitious as he was as a child, he had never even dreamed of this—his Shining Kingdom among the stars. 

He’d started on an out of the way little blue-green planet so many centuries ago and yet here they were… and it was all thanks to Ryuk that he’d even lived to see it. Light was grateful to him and yet, on some days, like today, he was really feeling his age. At least in the figurative sense—he hadn’t aged a day since he turned twenty and what had begun as another boring, desolate (and lonely) afternoon had ended with Ryuk giving him the gift of his loyalty, his love, and their now shared lifespan.

True Godhood. 

Of course he’d had a problem with the boredom as far back as he could remember... which, their brave and loyal ship’s doctor kept insisting was at least in part untreated depression—of course Androids could not die via Death Note and so he didn’t have the same hang-ups that a human doctor might have in voicing his concerns in regards to Kira-sama’s mental health. Tadashi was a skilled doctor but not irreplaceable—in fact he was made to _be_ replaceable. It would have been easy enough for Light to program another android should he become too insistent. It’s just that Tadashi… he had proven loyal even when the rebels had sabotaged him and tampered with his programming. Loyalty should be rewarded where it was given. And he was such a skilled doctor—he’d evolved beyond his programming, learned and adapted to new situations. They might lose some of that valuable experience if he started from scratch with a new droid. There was also the fact that he’d saved Hotaru’s life on more than one occasion so Light could never quite bring himself to scrap him. 

Even if Tadashi was programmed to never divulge his secrets, sometimes Light feared he’d grown sentimental in his old age. 

Light gratefully accepted the chalice of apple wine Ryuk passed him in comfortable silence. 

This wine had become a favorite of theirs—it was made from Earth apples, cultivated to perfection in the ship’s greenhouse. 

And it was all thanks to him, and his Shinigami’s addiction to the Earth fruits, that these even remained in existence. It was a great regret of his youth—that he had lived to see his home world become war torn and ruined by human greed. It had once again fallen on him, to build this ark and to save what remained of his fallen world. 

Light drummed his fingers on one of the jeweled skull-shaped golden arm rests of his throne. As he understood it this chair had once belonged to a Shinigami of note before Ryuk had conquered his own home Realm in Kira’s honor when that obnoxious former King of theirs got all up into their business and what they got up to in the bedroom. That had overall been an unpleasant experience but he had had the distinct pleasure of getting to watch Ryuk rip those assholes who thought they could imprison the God of the New World to shreds—Ryuk had torn them limb from bony limb, shredded their wings and tentacles until they were naught but blackened bones and dust—and then his Shinigami had brought this chair home to him afterwards as a gift and symbol of their conquest—from one monarch God-Emperor co-ruler to another. 

Things had become so much easier ever since Ryuk had overthrown the Shinigami King and eliminated all of his cumbersome rules. Now they ruled both realities as co-rulers in relative peace and harmony—which was great for his subjects but the eons tended to drag on for both of them. Who could ever have guessed that co-ruling two dimensions and a galaxy-expansive empire could be so damn boring and brought so much paper work? And not just of the Death Note kind. 

No, there were levies and taxes and regulations to be considered… 

Even if they had assorted counsels to squabble about the details he still had to rule, to be present, or they would try and rest power away from him as they had tried countless times before. 

_Foolish,_ as if he didn’t know each and every one of their names—but it didn’t stop them from trying. 

Light heaved out a sigh. Now it seemed nothing could excite him anymore, even with all the marvels of the universe at his fingertips. 

The games of court intrigue were predictable as they were tiring. Perhaps that was the problem— he’d been on a winning streak for too long, things had been too easy lately and he feared falling back into complacency. 

That had nearly been his downfall more than once. 

**“I understand, Light-o. You know… you could get out there again, find yourself a nice bottom to play with.”**

Light snorted at that before taking another sip of his wine, “The last one tried to assassinate me, so… no. I think I’ll pass on that.” 

He wouldn’t tolerate that sort of talk from many people but Ryuk was different. Ryuk knew him well, could see he was frustrated...

 **“Well… most of the people on this ship would probably be delighted to sleep with you should you but ask.”**

Light sighed again; he would rather not choose anyone else on this ship. They were his subordinates and it was inappropriate. He needed to be setting an example. And besides, there was always a chance whoever he picked might turn out to be a distant relation he hadn’t accounted for and… that would be beyond awkward. 

**“I just worry that you’re needs are not being met…”**

“Well… That’s nothing new.” 

That was just the problem. There was nothing new. 

He’d won. 

He’d mercilessly crushed all comers and now he was bored again. 

There seemed to be nothing or no one left that could challenge him—and not just in the insurrection sense, as exciting as that admittedly was. It was simply the fact that intelligent conversation was hard to come by as had been Light’s truth all his life. It just got tedious sometimes. Even this conversation and his responses seemed pre-scripted. He had had similar conversations with his Shinigami countless times before.

Ryuk groaned and Light patted his arm. 

“It’s not your fault,” Light assured. This was nothing new. He’d been bored even before Ryuk granted him his immortality. He _was_ grateful for that, despite the boredom. While it was tedious sometimes, he didn’t want to die and none of this would have been possible without Ryuk. 

When he got that notebook all those years ago part of him had wondered if he’d ever live to see his dreams realized and—look at him now. He was the God not just of a New World but a new Galaxy—and beyond. 

All this—his. 

Light chuckled as his Shinigami gave a rumbling purr and rested his chin in his lap. 

**“…Well, you could always talk to Misa, I suppose.”**

Light groaned out loud, even though he knew it was inevitable that that suggestion was coming.

Of course, Ryuk knew his feelings about Misa when he suggested it: he had never loved her, never even _liked_ her, really and had merely tolerated her presence for most of their existence. 

But he also knew his feelings about Misa—that as obnoxious as Misa was, she was one of the few beings in the universe who shared much of his life experience. 

She was one of the few people outside his immediate circle that he could talk to. 

It was a testament to his boredom that he even considered it. 

Of course if he spoke to her there was always a risk of them getting back together again. 

He had no interest in her, or any women, in that way and he never had. He’d been upfront about that with her since the beginning of their so-called ‘relationship’—that he could never truly be hers in the way she wanted—but Misa had very selective hearing and people made assumptions about them anyway so it didn’t seem to make a difference. 

Misa was persistent and… it got lonely sometimes. 

He’d tried playing house with Misa for a while, just to make her happy—he did consider her something like a friend. Also in an attempt to satisfy the demands of power, the whisperings that a king needed a queen, but even with a test tube baby and an agreement of an open relationship between them they’d still been miserable every time they tried. 

In the end Misa had finally fucked off to the far reaches of the galaxy and had since made a comeback in her music career. 

Last he heard she was very popular. 

Good for her. 

Maybe that would do her some good. 

Light was happy for her and though he still couldn’t really stand her for any prolonged length of time he thought they had left on friendly terms or at least friendly for them—she hadn’t thrown anything this time and no names were written in the notebook so Light counted it as a friendly parting. 

Nothing could ever really fill the void left by _him._ There was a gaping wound in his heart that had remained for millennia and never healed quite right. Misa would never fill that void no matter how she insisted she could. 

Even with Ryuk always there, even with Hotaru, and Tadashi, and Yong, and all his loyal subjects... 

No one really could. 

Ryuk came closest, he supposed. His Shinigami knew him best, had been with him through almost everything and he at least could help satisfy some physical needs. He was a literal godsend as a confidant but still… 

He really missed talking to _him._

It was a cruel joke—that the only human to ever truly see him, to understand would be fated to be against him. 

Light couldn’t help but laugh at himself sometimes—look at him, he had all the universe at his command and yet he pined for a ghost. But he would trade it all if he could only have the impossible... 

Light was brought back to the present when his comm. pinged. 

He gave a resigned sigh—it must be something important. His crew were all competent and didn’t bother him with trifles. 

He idly scanned through his messages with one hand while he continued to scratch Ryuk’s chin with the other. 

“Oh, look. The scout drones have found something interesting. You remember that old mining colony that captured spy mentioned? Well, it appears to be abandoned… Key word being _appears._ ”

 **“Oh?”** Ryuk encouraged with a fangy grin. 

“They can’t find any of the people but there are some indications that it has been operating recently. The machinery is still running and well-maintained. Oh, and would you look at that?” Light muttered while enhancing one of the images of the facility that came with the report. “Half-eaten sandwich on the counter. Someone left in a hurry.” 

**“Interesting! You thinking of joining the away team?”**

“Hmm… As competent as my team is… they might miss something if left to their own devices. Besides, it gets us out of this damn chair for a minute.” 

Ryuk snickered at that. 

***

Light retired to his chambers, attended to by Ryuk and a couple of Tenshi, Kira’s personal guards, to don extra armor that he didn’t strictly need but made the Tenshi feel better.

He didn’t strictly need the Tenshi either but they had sworn their lives to him and serving him apparently made them feel good and respected and Light found they could be useful. Even after seeing his immortality in action, it was the principle of the thing—he was their Galactic God Emperor. They were all supposed to take his safety seriously even if it seemed redundant. 

So Light supposed wearing extra armor was the very least he could do because even if he couldn’t bring himself to care much about his own life anymore, they did. 

Light cast a wry smile over his shoulder as Ryuk helped adjusted his sanguine cape for him over his golden armor.

“Thanks.” 

Ryuk gave a sheepish laugh. 

Ah, look at them—a Death God and his “prey”—he had his Shinigami very whipped and they both knew it. 

Of course, it could have turned out very differently—Ryuk had once confessed that he’d nearly written his name at the warehouse instead of making his offer. 

Light had decided that in the end it didn’t matter—it was what he always promised in the beginning... and in the end it was irrelevant—he hadn’t acted on it. Instead, Ryuk had gifted him this and risked his own annihilation in order to save him. So whatever else Ryuk might be Light could truly call him a friend. 

“…I take it Kami is bored?” Yong, the Captain of his Tenshi dared ask when Light’s intentions became obvious even to the duller folks around him. There were some obvious clues, after all—the extra armor he now wore, the unlit plasma sword that now hung from his belt, the fact that he was now wearing combat boots suited for surface travel, and the fact he and Ryuk were headed down to the docking bay. 

Light liked Yong… and almost every Yong who had ever earned the post across the centuries, of which there were many. Light was aware it had become a Yong family point of honor to secure the God-Emperor’s favor. (Of course he wasn’t lax, he always monitored them for sedition but there was none to be found.) 

This particular Yong kind of reminded him of a certain attorney he once knew who bled to death on a warehouse floor—save for the fact he had never made such a stupid mistake.

Light supposed that if he were to take up Ryuk’s suggestion and sleep with one of his subordinates he might have considered Yong, save for the fact that he had a drunken fling once with another Yong some years ago and it just felt wrong to get involved with the man’s… grandchildren? Great-grandchildren? 

…Just how long had it been? 

Yong, the current Yong, wrung his hands. “I don’t suppose I can dissuade you from this.” 

“I can’t die, Captain,” Light reminded him with a chuckle. This conversation, too, was routine. But at this point it almost felt like a ritual that must be performed—something sacrosanct, _holy_ … “You know I haven’t been slouching in combat simulations and I have you guys _and_ Ryuk looking out for me. So I’m fairly confident we can handle whatever we find down there.” 

“…As you wish, Kami. You know that protocol demands that I ask every time.” 

“Of course…Thank you, Yong.” 

“I serve at your pleasure, Kami,” the man said sincerely and… 

_Huh…_

He had never really noticed before, too involved with his own affairs, he supposed but was that just devotion in the man’s eyes or perhaps he was longing to be taken to his Kami’s bedchambers? 

Maybe he was just reading too much into things but… 

Well, if that was the case, if Yong had a thing for him, he’d just have to get used to disappointment. Yong was one of his few “friends” and he’d hate to sour this amicability with the facsimile of a relationship. 

**“Right… let’s go out and have some fun!”** Ryuk chuckled as he dramatically stretched his wings before they boarded the scoutship _Karasu._

The small, black spacecraft somewhat resembled its namesake with its dark wings—which were not strictly a necessity for flying in space but the _Karasu_ was also capable of flying in atmo which made ships like these ideal for away missions and covert ops. 

Light gave a start upon boarding. _“Hotaru?”_

“Hey, Light!” 

“…That suit isn’t exactly regulation, is it?” Light inquired as the wisp of a girl slipped into skin tight armor with a plunging neckline and bare midriff. 

“Well... you’d be surprised what is deemed within regulation standards when you have my last name.” 

Light snorted, “That just doesn’t seem very protective.” 

“Shielding technology is a thing, you know,” Hotaru smirked. “You should upgrade. I _know_ you still use Kevlar under there.” 

“Kevlar isn’t vulnerable to power shortages. You do recall?” 

“—the Energy Beast from Re’ez and the masked assassin. Of course, how could I _ever_ forget—”

“You’re not really going on a mission… in _that?!_ ” 

Hotaru grinned wider as she shook her head, “Really, Light. You and your past millennial standards—” 

**“She’s obviously teasing you, Light-o.”**

“Yeah, get a grip old man. Of course I have my armor!” Hotaru giggled, pressing a button on her wrist and was instantly equipped in the heavily armored mech suit just as all the other Tenshi around them. 

Light leveled a glare at all the folks around him. 

“…You were all in on the joke, weren’t you?” 

“Sorry, Kami,” the others muttered between the occasional sacrilegious snicker. 

“…Our life is yours, Kami.” 

Light rolled his eyes, “Yeah… and don’t you forget it.” 

_“Praise Kira!”_ They instantly began reciting, loudly, in unison. _“Kira is Might! Kira is Strength! Glory be to the Kingdom of the Righteous—”_

Internally Light cringed. Dammit, maybe he’d been too hard on them. Surely they knew he didn’t really mean it. The pledge of allegiance was for the soldiers in the trenches, not his Tenshi. Not his personal guards, the soldiers vetted for loyalty and trustworthiness—not his “friends.” 

He hated having to kill friends. 

_“…Praise the God-Emperor whose sacrifice is life as ours is death. Hail Kira-sama, in his infinite wisdom. Kami. The Eternal. He who is Righteous and True. The Bringer of Peace and Ender of Suffering, Master of Humanity and the Shinigami. He Who Cuts the Rot From the Heart of the Universe. For him we would cut down a billion foes—”_

“Yeah, yeah,” Light huffed in poorly concealed irritation as he went to his designated area and awaited takeoff in his reserved seat between Hotaru and Yong. 

“…Hotaru?” Light ventured after a nonverbal exchange with Ryuk where the Shinigami put up a silencing spell (because while he couldn’t help but worry about her he didn’t want his concerns to inadvertently harm Hotaru’s reputation...) “Should you really be out on patrol already?”

The girl exhaled, blowing long purple bangs that were also, without a doubt, _not regulation_ out of her eyes. 

“With all due respect, should _you,_ God-Emperor?” 

_“Hotaru…”_

“Cadet Bizitnar, if you please, _Kami._ ” She interrupted stiffly. 

Light winced but she was right, they shouldn't be so informal around the others. “…Cadet… _I can’t die._ ” 

_You can._

And she would, one day; he knew as he always did with a certain amount of dread but didn’t want to see it. He’d seen far too many people he cared about die already.

He knew that, even when he’d taken custody of her as a child, watched her grow up way too fast. 

He knew he would watch her die, even if he did everything right she would grow old and grey while he stayed in place. 

Light wasn’t sure why he kept doing this to himself. 

But then again, he did know. There was no alternative. 

Well there was—he could die. Then he wouldn’t have to do this anymore but he didn’t really want to do that. And even with all the planning in the universe that could potentially leave a power vacuum, leaving the universe worse off than before... 

He supposed he could keep her, if he was cruel enough to sell her to a Shinigami that would share their lifespan with her, but none of the others were like Ryuk. They were cruel and they were crude and he did not want that for her. None of them were like Rem or Gelus either; none were likely to be so kind as to suddenly just gift her with two of their lifespans and dissolve in a pile of ash so she couldn’t get to immortality Misa’s way either. 

So it seemed, barring some miracle he would one day be watching her die, just as he’d watched all the others before her. 

He could only hope it was later rather than sooner. 

“I graduated top of my class at the academy. I think I can handle myself, Light.” 

“I know, it’s just... be careful. _Please._ ” 

He feared he’d been a bad influence. His cavalier attitude towards his own life and inability to die may have rubbed off on her… 

“…If we are being so informal than permission to hug?” She asked with a grin. 

It was a familiar grin, one that Light found infectious. 

“Permission granted.” 

He said before nodding to his Shinigami and Ryuk cancelled the spell—it wouldn’t do to cause rumors by being too secretive either. 

Hotaru hugged him tightly before shoving a blaster into his hands with a cocky grin. 

“Try to keep up, old man.” 

Light snorted before equipping the blaster in a holster next to his plasma sword and strapping himself in along with the others. He checked in with another nonverbal conversation with Ryuk, making sure his Shinigami was alright up where he casually hung onto the ceiling above him with his claws. Ryuk didn’t really need to be strapped in like the others. It would, as he’d explained many times before, be a waste of a seat—but it wouldn’t do to forget that the craft was moving either, phase out, and accidentally get left behind as had happened before. 

Of course Ryuk could always find him but it might be a long time, especially since they had to jump to hyperspace.... 

“The Energy Beast? Really?” Hotaru hissed as the craft lifted off, the clank of machines and gear sliding in the place ensuring that her words should only carry to Light’s ears. “That was, what? Five hundred years ago, Light? Seriously, I learned about it in History class! You know, you really ought to discuss your trauma responses with Tadashi—” 

_“Hotaru…”_

_“Light…”_

“I’m fine,” Light insisted with a fake smile he’d mastered many centuries ago. 

And Hotaru saw right through. 

Though she didn’t call him out on it her eyes seemed to ask: _Are you really though?_

Had they been more alone and it wouldn’t be so obvious to use Ryuk for privacy again he might have been more honest. Because no, he wasn’t fine—not really. He was never really fine. But he managed, and that was enough. Or at least this was the lie he told to himself. 

The massive asteroid appeared to grow larger in the viewports as they approached—their destination, the apparent rebel base that had made its home in this, the skeletal remains of the ancient mining colony. The ancient, blackened structures loomed like an imposing monolith or perhaps the fingers of some undead thing grasping its way out through the dirt. 

Light couldn’t help but sneer in distaste—the rusting and ruined machines looked like something they’d find in the scrap yards of the Shinigami Realm. 

Beside him Hotaru whistled softly and commented in a de sotto voice “Wow, that tech might just be as old as you are!” 

Ryuk chuckled and Light just rolled his eyes. Jokes like that had come to also feel like part of the ritual now told by a thousand mouths, seen in the mirthful laugher of a thousand faces, some he could barely remember now. 

He was tired. 

It got tiring. 

He supposed he should be used to it but really it just served to remind him that he could never really be a part of the new world he created. 

He was the bloodstained relic of another time. 

For all his power, all the masks he’d worn throughout his life he did not truly belong. 

He never had. 

Dammit, he was getting too introspective again. 

But perhaps Ryuk was right—maybe they’d find something to kill the boredom down there. 

*** 

When they disembarked nothing had appeared amiss on any of their scanners. 

There were no lifesigns in the immediate vicinity. 

Ryuk tipping him off as they proceeded deeper into the mines was the only reason there weren’t more casualties. 

“…I guess that explains what happened to the rebels.” 

Only it didn’t. Not really. 

Sure some of the reanimated corpses they had cut through were clearly the missing rebels but that didn’t explain how such a thing was possible. 

“Ryuk?” Light began, brushing bits of brains and rotting flesh off of his golden armor with distaste. 

_“Hmmm?”_

“Raising the dead… This seems like the sort of thing that is within the Shinigami’s purview is it not? 

“Maybe? But I’ve never heard of anything like this before. You know we’re more likely just to take years, not mess around with your corpses.” 

Light had known Ryuk to lie sometimes for the sake of his own entertainment about how much he knew but he did seem genuinely baffled this time. 

“That’s okay, I believe you… but I should find out what happened here… Hotaru, get back to the ship.” 

_“No way!”_

_“Hotaru…”_

“And what if you get trapped down here or something, huh?” 

**“…She has a point, Light-o.”**

“…Yong, please escort Hotaru back to the ship.” 

“…We are sworn to protect you, Kami!” 

Light would have pressed the point but another wave of them swiftly bore down on their location. 

Light cut through the zombies with his blaster and plasma blade but it was already too late. He could only watch helplessly as his Tenshi began to fall around him. Beside him Yong was overwhelmed and the creatures made hamburger out of the flesh in his neck. All he could do for him was put a quick blaster bolt in his friend’s head when, dead he tried to rise again—eyes milky white, neck at an odd angle, unhealing wound in his neck and flesh already beginning to rot but still brokenly praising his Kami… 

_“Hotaru!”_ Light shouted as he cut his way through the hoard at a frenzied pace. 

_Don’t be dead. Not here. Not this way…_

_“Little busy at the moment!”_

Light felt instant relief when she answered and redoubled his efforts to kill his enemies and get to her. 

Oh if only it would be as easy as just writing their names! But the notebook probably wouldn’t do much good against the undead. Ryuk casually confirmed from above then that the zombies no longer had names—at least none that appeared to Shinigami eyes. The Shinigami was making himself useful though in thinning the mob a bit—slicing the heads off some zombies with his lethal talons, or grabbing some and then phasing them into the cave walls and leaving them there. 

Light cringed as some idiot a cave or two away decided to deploy explosives in an unstable mine. 

This had immediate consequences and Light was powerless to stop it. 

A fissure in the ground opened up, swallowing up many zombies as well as many of his Tenshi—Hotaru among them. 

_“NO!”_

Light could only watch in horror as she fell right in front of him. 

How much more of his family would he have to bury, how many more loved ones would he have to mourn? 

He didn’t even have time to mourn as the undead fiends were clawing at him again. 

And this was all his fault. 

If only he’d just born the boredom a little longer, hadn’t insisted on coming. 

She always wanted to impress him. Maybe if he’d stayed away from this she would too and she would still be safe on the Capitol Ship. She wouldn’t have insisted on coming. She’d still be alive… 

Above the cavernous area which had once been a plaza of sorts which had long gone to ruins and was now flooded with zombies an ancient television screen flickered to life. 

_“Hello, my dear.”_

_“…Misa?”_

“Are you enjoying our anniversary present?” 

“ _What the Hell!_ Misa?! This is your doing?!” 

Misa’s unhinged giggling was answer enough. 

“Do you not care? _Your own granddaughter—_ ” 

“You know I only care about one thing, darling,” Misa grinned, blowing a kiss to the camera. “My love, I just gave you what you wanted.” 

“…What I wanted?” Light asked dangerously. 

“A challenge—I know you’ve been _so bored._ Don’t you like it?” Misa pouted. “I worked so hard! On the rebellion, and on this trap for you~” 

Light hissed, _“You will pay for this!”_

Misa laughed musically again, “You will try, darling. You will try.” 

The screen flicked out and Light was left with just his rage and despair… 

Hotaru was gone. 

And he’d been outsmarted… _by Misa._

And here he thought they’d had an understanding, that they were… something like friends. 

Maybe he was losing it. Maybe he’d been alive too long. 

Maybe he should just rest here—let the zombies have him. 

**“Oi! Light!”**

_“…Hey old man, don’t write me off quite yet.”_

Light roused from his grief at the sound of their voices. 

“Wha… Hotaru?” 

**“I’ve got her,”** Ryuk assured when he returned from the chasm, carrying Hotaru; who was irreverently perched on the Shinigami’s back between his beating wings. As soon as they crested the chasm she was already blasting away at the surrounding zombies with her mech canons with an almost casual air. 

Light sighed in relief, “Don’t scare me like that! You were lucky this time that Ryuk was there to catch you.” 

“I could have gotten back on my own,” Hotaru huffed, “It would have just taken a few days, is all. 

“So willful,” Light smirked. “I have no idea where you get that from.” 

Ryuk snorted before the pair was rushing on ahead. 

Light covered their rear, picking off the remaining zombies that were pursuing them. 

There was a sudden crash and pained groan from the structure that Ryuk and Hotaru had rushed into. 

That was definitely not the typical groan of the zombies and it didn’t sound like Hotaru either... 

“Everything okay in there?” 

_“Ha!”_

…That did. 

**“Hey Light, we’ve got a breather here!”** Ryuk announced and Light hurried on ahead, entering what clearly was, or had been, a lab and came upon the scene where Hotaru had the sole survivor they’d seen thus far at her mercy—the rebel scientist wheezed as she began to crush his windpipe beneath her boot. 

“That’s great, you two—but do try to keep him alive so we can question him.” 

“ _Awwww…_ But I wanted to punish sinners this time!” Hotaru whined. 

“Next time,” Light promised. 

“You might as well kill me, Kira. I’ll never talk—” 

“Feel free to start breaking his fingers though.” 

_“Yay!”_

_“I’ll talk, I’ll talk!”_ The man squealed as Hotaru grabbed hold of his wrist. 

“Belay that order.” 

_“Awwww!”_

Light steepled his hands as he sat down on a large cargo crate across from where Ryuk held and Hotaru threatened their prisoner. “We appreciate you’re cooperation… so?” He prompted. 

The man fell silent again. 

“Light, _please?_ ” Hotaru asked, with the same giddiness she’d display before unwrapping a birthday present. 

Light nodded because he did enjoy gifting her things. He worried sometimes that he was spoiling his charge but yes… he might indulge her this… 

There was a sickening crack as Hotaru bent back one of the man’s fingers at an unnatural angle. 

The man screamed. 

“So… did you know you’re whole movement is a farce?” Light began again when the man seemed aware of his surroundings once more, “It was founded by my ex and she doesn’t even believe in your cause. She just did it to piss me off.” 

“…Is it working?” 

“It’s an annoyance, sure, but seeing as you’re the last one here left alive I’d say it’s failed—and not even by my hand. So tell me, whose bright idea was it to include the zombies?” 

“…This wasn’t supposed to happen. Something went wrong with the resurrection ritual.” 

“Resurrection ritual? Just what was Misa doing here?” 

“Misa-Misa? As in the famous virtuoso?” 

“Woah. You didn’t even know who you’re backer was? Wow, you’re pathetic!” 

“Hotaru… be nice.” 

“I am being nice! I only broke one of his fingers.” 

“No one knew what we were doing here!” The man said hurriedly. 

“I’d say,” Light interjected. 

Ryuk cackled at that. 

“Our sponsor… _your ex_ just gave us the money. We had free reign of what to do with it. So we… we got together the greatest necromancers and technomages of our generation to perform the ritual, to call back the soul of the Hero and fuse it with a new clone body... but it was a failure! Not only was it a failure but the ritual didn’t just resurrect… it resurrected all the dead workers of this mining colony but without their souls they’re just…” 

“Yes, we see the results. And just who were you _trying_ to resurrect?” 

“It doesn’t matter, it was a failure.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” 

Light felt his ire rising when the man remained silent for too long. 

“Hotaru…” 

The man recoiled from the Tenshi in fear. “No, please! I’ll tell you! I… it was said he was a Hero of Legend from ancient times—the only one to ever stand against Kira.” 

Light froze. _No, it can’t be…_

“…And… and why was the ritual a failure?” Light pressed, trying to keep his voice steady in the light of his conclusions. 

“The ritual was meant to retrieve the soul of the hero but…” 

“But…? But what? What’s wrong with him? _What happened?_ ” 

“…But he was your hated enemy! Why would he ask for you?” 

_“…Where is he?!”_

The man nodded to the box Light was currently sitting on. 

Light jumped up as if stung. 


	2. The Ghost

_“Impossible…”_

The word spoken softly above him with the sort of reverent awe that L hadn’t heard since he’d first woken up and then… 

Pain. 

Pain was what had come next, when they realized he wasn’t what they wanted. 

L couldn’t help but whine at the memory. He gave a start when he felt a cold metal hand on his shoulder. No, not a hand—armor. This wasn’t one of the doctors. 

Was this one of the soldiers? 

Was he to be disposed of, then? 

L was torn between terror and relief at the notion because they couldn’t keep hurting him if he was dead. 

_“Ryuuzaki?”_

L stared back, dead-eyed and unresponsive, not quite trusting this kind, oddly familiar face before him. The last time he’d spoken and said something, something he could no longer remember, but his captors hadn’t liked it and he’d been condemned to torture and experimentation as a result. He wasn’t about to risk that again. In any case, L was unable to quite place either the word being spoken to him or the speaker though both seemed vaguely familiar somehow. This felt maddeningly like something he _should_ know but it was just out of his grasp. Maybe it was something he’d lost—burned away by whatever they’d done to him when they’d shocked him the last time. 

The man seemed disappointed by his lack of response and… _sad?_ No, surely he was reading too much into things. How did he even know how to read this stranger’s microexpressions anyway? But at least this man didn’t seem inclined to torture him at the moment—which was a first since waking up in this place. 

“Ryuk? Tell me this… it’s a sick joke, isn’t it?” The man demanded, addressing someone out of L’s range of vision, beyond the walls of the box. 

L wasn’t sure what was going on but he felt for the man then—he sounded absolutely stricken and… there was something heart-wrenchingly _familiar_ about that voice—

 **“No, it’s him,”** a deep guttural voice that sounded like something out of nightmare responded, derailing L’s train of thought and causing his hair to stand on end. 

**“It’s really him!”**

It was the sort of voice he might have heard in that long, dark stretch of nothingness between the muddled grey of whatever had been his life before and waking up here. 

So perhaps he was still dreaming after all. 

But how could he have come up with a dream like this? 

L could not remember ever having received such a look of concern in his waking hours as he was receiving now from this kind, oddly familiar stranger. 

L felt an odd warmth despite the chill of the lab, as the man gently lifted him from the tank, handling him with care, and wrapped him in a slightly tattered red blanket which seemed to have once been the man’s cape. 

No, this wasn’t one of the doctors. And there were others there, some having clearly just arrived, wearing similar uniforms but no one else was wearing such ornate armor and no one else had a cape. 

So this man was someone pretentious or important—or both. 

**“…It’s him, Light. His name. His… _soul._ ”**

L slowly turned to see the speaker and found himself staring, wide-eyed at what appeared to be a literal demon.

L noted that others in the room also seemed to be able to see the demon. 

No one else treated this as odd. 

L again debated the merits of whether this was a dream. 

He kind of wanted it _not_ to be—even with the demon in it. This certainly didn’t feel like a dream. But, assuming this was real… 

What the hell was going on? 

Was he being rescued? But by who? And for what purpose? 

He vaguely recalled thinking he’d been saved before, by his torturers before they realized he wasn’t what they wanted. 

All L really remembered was he’d been… submerged in some kind of bathtub? 

No, the substance that still clung to him didn’t feel like water. It looked and felt more like he’d been submerged in gelatin which might have once been a fantasy of his but this stuff hadn’t even tasted appetizing, let along sweet and since there was no whipped cream or strawberries to be found he wouldn’t recommend the experience. 

No he’d been unceremoniously shoved into some sort of box—the box he just came out of. 

He remembered now, they called it some sort of storage unit but L hadn’t understood what was happening. 

He’d never been so scared, at least not that he could remember… 

But for some inexplicable reason he felt safe now. 

Which was beyond bizarre because he couldn’t really remember _ever_ feeling safe before—at least not in any memory he could be certain was real. 

Though L knew, logically he should be weary of this unknown party everything about this—about _these_ arms holding him felt familiar and safe even though he didn’t think he’d ever experienced it before. 

And he was clearly out of the box now—still naked as ever he was since waking up but now at least he’d been given some modicum of modesty.

L drifted in and out of focus and tried to comprehend just what was going on. 

His torturers seemed to speak an odd dialect and it had taken time for L to decipher what they were saying but the newcomers were speaking a different dialect and while L could decode languages rather quickly it still made following their conversation rather difficult. 

The one holding him seemed to be speaking tersely with the others around him. They spoke about him, and over him, but no one had really acknowledged him yet—as if he were an object and not really there, a person with agency. While some buried part of him railed against this treatment he couldn’t say he wasn’t used to it. That had been his experience pretty much since he first woke up in this lab. 

_Surely Watari wouldn’t have allowed this…_

_…Watari?_

He wasn’t sure who that _was_ exactly, just that that was someone he was supposed to know, someone he _used_ to know, and that he’d been his protector—he used to have a protector. 

He’d had none in this place. 

He didn’t let himself hope he had one now—inexplicable feelings of comfort aside. 

“…Without the genetic codex to stabilize it, that clone body will disintegrate within a couple of day cycles—” 

L couldn’t help but cringe when he recognized that voice. It was _that_ doctor. The man who had been with him, and torturing him, ever since L had woken up in this place. 

However L couldn’t help but notice he was now sounding oddly strained. 

L followed the sound to the source and only then realized that the man was pinned to the floor by one of the soldiers—a purple-haired slip of a girl in uniform who apparently had no problem casually stepping on the man’s throat. 

“Right… and where is this codex exactly?” asked the Familiar-and-Safe, no… _Important-and-Pompous_ man who was holding him. 

(Was he wearing a crown?) 

The doctor answered, but L couldn't really follow their conversation anymore as he was focused on trying to remember. When the apparently regal man spoke, his voice sounded _so familiar_ and yet L just could not place it.

L chewed his lip as he again considered if this was some manifestation of his subconscious and what it said about him that his rescuers would be this beautiful young man, a demon, a dominatrix soldier girl, and what appeared to be a bunch of stormtroopers. 

L knew the doctor, of course but most of the other faces here were new, including the demon’s (he didn’t think he could dream something like that up,) but the man carrying him, he _knew him_ somehow.

He _knew_ him.

There was something there, buried deep in his memories, and it was driving him mad. 

What was it the demon had called him? 

…Light? 

“Light— _Light-kun?_ ” 

The voices around him abruptly stopped and L couldn’t help but gasp slightly when the arms around him gripped him more tightly. 

Light said something then and L strained to understand him. 

He then said it again and this time L could understand him perfectly. 

“Yes, Ryuuzaki. I’m here.”

This man spoke a language he knew and the name he called him, it felt _right_ even if it wasn’t his own. L knew it was a name he’d once used even if he could no longer remember the circumstances. 

L closed his eyes, melting into the familiar feeling of Light gently carding a hand through his hair. 

This gentle moment was abruptly interrupted by, appropriately enough, by the man who woke him up—who’d kept him here, who hurt him… “What do you want with him anyway? He’s a failure!” his torturer demanded, snarling from the floor.

The man had kept insisting that ever since he woke up, since the first time L spoke, and for no reason as far as L could tell. They hadn’t even bothered to properly test his intelligence or detective skills or cognitive abilities. No, he was already damned for words he could no longer remember. 

L cocked his head to the side and regarded the scientist with disgust before the purple-haired girl punched him in the face. L found he couldn’t muster much sympathy for the doctor’s plight even if he knew that objectively he should disapprove—for one, that was no way to conduct a proper interrogation. You never start with the head. That was counterproductive when trying to get information and made answers harder to come by. 

“…You keep saying that. Why? Why am I a failure in your eyes?”

Not that it mattered. This man, he was nothing.

He was less than nothing. 

But it was just… puzzling. 

He hadn’t even known this man. He hadn’t known him as one of his enemies…

(He had enemies?) 

Maybe he was working for one of his enemies but why? 

Why try to break him? 

Was that what he was hoping to achieve here?

Why treat him this way?

He did not know this man and there was no way he should know him?

Wasn’t there? 

(Was his identity compromised? …Why was it ever secret?) 

Or had they mistaken him for someone else?

(Who even _was_ he?) 

L would have liked to have an answer… to his many, many questions but specifically as to why he’d had to endure so much abuse at this man’s hands and those working for him but he supposed in the end it didn’t matter. He was a criminal. He would be punished—

“ _You were the Chosen One!_ The only one to stand against Kira!”

“…What sort of magical thinking is that?” He couldn’t help but find such a statement odd coming from a man of science but L he had noticed that the people here seemed prone to fanaticism and it’s not like he hadn’t known his share of mad scientists back in his old life. 

“Kira? Who is Kira?” 

The doctor’s assertion seemed to indicate that this Kira person was important, and a threat somehow, but the statement in itself was odd. He recalled that Kira was a rather common name (he wasn’t sure how he knew or in what context it was common, just that… it sounded weird—like he’d just declared a vendetta against the Dark Lord Bob.

What was even weirder was that the question did seem important to L somehow. 

_Very important._

But he just…

(He couldn’t remember.) 

Everyone seemed surprised by his question, but none more than his rescuer who nearly dropped him in his shock. 

Well… that was interesting. 

Maybe Light could fill him in on who this Kira person was later. 

“He was your greatest enemy! Why would you ask for him?”

L blinked in confusion. Now that was a puzzle. But more importantly, he now had an answer “You mean I asked for… this Kira person when I woke up? Is that why…?”

Why he’d been made to endure the pain, and the machines, and that there was so much he couldn’t remember… 

Why he’d been declared “a failure” since he woke up— 

“That’s why…” L realized, “because I wasn’t the savior you’re looking for.” 

“Of course you had to be reeducated!” 

L felt the tension in Light’s arms and noted the look of cold fury crossed the man’s face which set off a deeply unpleasant feeling in the pit of L’s stomach (with it came a dawning sense of dread that he had forgotten something important) but thankfully Light’s ire wasn’t aimed at him. 

“Hotaru… he’s all yours.” 

“Oh, _yay!”_

“No! No, _please—!_ ”

The man shrieked as the girl, Light’s enforcer, gifted him with matching knives shoved through the meat of his palms to secure him to the floor as she worked. 

“Ryuuzaki? That man hurt you, didn’t he?” Light asked; and L found his voice to be shockingly gentle for all the malice that was shining through his eyes. “He will be punished for that now. Would you like to leave now or would you prefer to stay and watch?” 

L watched as the girl happily producing a large number of knives and instruments of torture from various hidden compartments in her armor. One of them lit up and sparked ominously. It appeared to be some sort of electrified blade or… oh, it was meant to go _there._

“…If it’s all the same to you, Light-kun,” L began, somewhat puzzled at the easy way the name rolled off his tongue; “I’d rather not watch. He’s _nothing._ ” 

“Yeah. You’re right… Okay.” He turned to address the others then, starting with the demon, whose relaxed demeanor actually made him seem the least threatening of the assembled party.“Ryuk, stay with her. Hotaru…” He addressed the enforcer, who was already half engrossed in how to best savor this…“…come meet up with us when you’re done.”

“Of course, God Emperor… Hmm, I haven’t gotten to use this one in a while!” She chirped while inventorying her knife collection and rediscovering a multiple whirring blade tool. “Uh… any _special orders_ for this one?” 

Light smirked, “Just… have fun.” 

Hotaru grinned ghoulishly. “Oh _with pleasure,_ my Kami.” 

As they left the lab the sound of the man’s screaming echoed off the surrounding cavern walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I had intended this to be a quick 2-shot for lawlight week 2020 but I seriously misjudged how long part 2 would be to write. Sorry! So here's the next chapter and I'll keep working on the next part which may take more than one chapter once depending how much these adorable assholes deviate from the outline.


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